Moving with Kids
Moving to a new home, whether it’s to a new state or only across town, can be disruptive and confusing. As stressful as it for parents, the experience can often be upsetting for kids, especially since it is unlikely they were part of the decision to move in the first place. As you consider a move, think about how the benefits of the move weigh up against taking your child or children out of their comfort zone - Kids thrive on familiar surroundings and a routine.
Oftentimes, the decision to move is made as a result of a job transfer or financial issues, only stressing out parents further. Even if you're not happy about the move, try to maintain a positive attitude about it. During times of transition, a parent's moods and attitudes can greatly affect kids who may be looking for reassurance. If your family has recently dealt with a major life change, such as divorce or death, you may want to postpone a move, if possible, to give kids time to adjust.
Preparation is Key
No matter the circumstances of your decision, the best way to prepare your children for a move is to include them from the start. Provide them with as much information as possible and be completely up-front. Involve them in the house-hunting process and show them or discuss the schools, parks, recreation areas, and other fun venues so they get a feel for the new town. This will make the change feel less forced and sudden, and may even get them excited for it. A local move makes this is easier, but if you are moving out of state or out of the country, do a quick Google search of the new location and learn about it together. Be receptive to their emotions: even if the move is an improvement for the whole family, the enormity of the change may still be frightening.
Tips for Each Age Group
Children under 5:
Younger children (under 5) may be the easiest to move, as they don’t have the capacity to understand all the changes involved.
Try to explain the move clearly and simply. Use a story to explain the move - there are many books available that illustrate the moving process for younger kids.
Avoid making big changes during the move, like toilet training or advancing a toddler from a bed to a crib, or getting new furniture for your child. It might even be a good idea for the arrangement of the furniture in their new bedroom to be similar to the way it was in their old bedroom.
When you pack your child’s things, make sure to explain that you aren't throwing them away.
Arrange for your toddler or preschooler to stay with a babysitter on moving day.
School-Age Kids:
Kids in elementary school may be relatively open to a move, but make sure to keep a watchful eye throughout the transition. Timing the move around the start of school is what many parents try to do so it doesn’t disrupt the school year. Try and meet as many people as possible at the new school to get all the information necessary to make this first day seamless.
Teens:
This is a trickier age group, since your teen has probably invested considerable energy in a particular social group, formed strong bonds, or might be involved in a romantic relationship at your current location. It's particularly important to let teens know that you want to hear their concerns and that you respect them. After the move, consider planning a visit back to the old neighborhood, if it's feasible. Also, see if if the teen can return for key events like prom or homecoming.
Post-Move
After the move, try to get your child's room in order before turning your attention to the rest of the house. Try to maintain your regular schedule for meals and bedtime to give kids a sense of familiarity. Set realistic expectations about the transition: some kids need less time; others might need more. Every child is different. And encourage your child or teen to keep up with old friends through phone calls, video chats, approved social media, etc. If they are struggling, a family therapist can often provide very helpful guidance.
A move can present many challenges, but good things can also come from this kind of change. Your family may grow closer as you learn more about one another through this experience.